There are countless theories about homosexuality, and the question of how a person becomes gay remains a topic of ongoing debate. Some individuals who claim to have changed their sexual orientation believe transformation is possible, while others insist that it is not.
Many gay individuals enter into heterosexual marriages—some openly acknowledging their sexuality before marriage, while others come to terms with it later in life, sometimes even within the marriage itself. This raises complex questions about love, attraction, and relationships.
One intriguing question is whether it is truly possible for a woman to fall in love with and feel physically attracted to an effeminate gay man. While romantic connections can take many forms, societal norms and personal experiences often shape our understanding of attraction.
So, what are the chances of an effeminate gay man finding genuine love and companionship with a woman? Is love purely about chemistry, or can emotional bonds override physical attraction? I’d love to hear your thoughts and perspectives on this!
Hey Dan -
ReplyDeleteIt's great when anyone thinks about this stuff, but I think your
message highlights one of the things that bother me the most.
Straight people talk about it this way, gay people talk about it this
way, and now we're going to talk about it in another light...
You ask if a straight person can fall in love with a person of the
opposite sex, even if the other person is gay. A similar question
would be "Will the sun rise tomorrow, even if there are clouds in the
sky." For one, of course it will (and of course a straight person
could). The clouds do not affect how the sun operates, and
similarly, a person simply being gay does not directly affect how
someone else develops feelings or attractions towards them.
While "Mary" may not see the sun rise from her perspective (and
similarly she may not be attracted to a gay person from her
perspective), that does not mean that another person 2 miles down the
road will miss the morning rays. The skies will look different to
every one, and their attractions will be different from Mary's,
especially if they are not aware that the person they are attracted
to is gay.
It's like saying that a straight woman couldn't possibly be attracted
to a gay man --- the insinuation there is that all straight women
have the same feelings, and all gay men act in a way that clearly
indicates they are gay. It completely ignores the fact that people
are attracted to people based on many individualistic qualities, and
it assumes that all gay men are flamers (for a lack of better
words). Being a homosexual is a scientific term... all it means is
that a person is attracted to other people of the same gender (note
that it does not say this attraction is apparent to others). It says
nothing about who's attracted to them. It also says nothing about
that person's personality, behaviors, hair color, shoe size, Pogo
score, or anything else! "Being gay" is only slightly more defining
of a person's identity that "being human" in the grand scheme of
things.
It could easily be said that a gay person is more likely to kiss a
person of the same gender. It would, however, be slippery logic to
say that "if you're gay then you kiss people of the same gender" as a
sweeping statement. An overwhelming percentage of gay people
probably do kiss people of the same gender, but just how unfair would
it be to you if you were a gay person who didn't kiss people of the
same gender? After all, being gay doesn't mean you have to kiss
people of the same gender. Wouldn't it make you mad that some doofus
clumped you into a group you don't belong in simply because you are
in another completely independent group, especially if instead of it
being "kissing," it became "sleeping around with"? It can quickly
become just as offensive and ignorant as saying "If you're black than
you steal cars and eat at KFC." In America, this statement would be
considered comical because it's so absurdly stereotypical, and the
public at large acknowledges its absurdity. Unfortunatly, when it
comes to statements of gay people being effeminate hairdressers,
moody "queens," and promiscious bar hops, some parts of the public do
not scoff at it as absurd, but rather take stock in it as reality.
This is changing, as the light of truth always prevails.
The gay stereotype is simply a flawed perception -- for example, what
if "Mary" couldn't tell a person was gay because they were simply an
average normal "Joe" just going about his business? Joe wouldn't fit
into Mary's perspective of "gay" because he never fit one of her
preconceived notions of what a gay guy was supposed to be. Joe is
acting in one of billions of ways that gay people can act, and there
are lots of "Joe's" out there. Meanwhile, all the extreme cases of
stereotypical gay behaviors are going into Mary's awareness because
they fit her "gay person behavior rules." Unfortunatly, Joe is gay --
he knows it, but Mary does not, thus Joe can't expand Mary's notion
of what a gay person truly is because she has closed her mind to it.
Again, I point this out because you seem interested to think about
it, and I hope this shines a little light on the topic and sparks
some discussion.
De-personalizing an individual with sweeping assumptions, regardless
of what grouping they may belong to, is a guaranteed ticket to not
understanding them for who they truly are. If I said "I have WalMart
cookies," that tells you very little. WalMart has chocolate cookies,
chewy cookies, crunchy cookies. Saying WalMart cookies are queerer
than Kmart cookies is also moronic. In fact, WalMart sells some of
the same brands of cookies as Kmart. Similarly, gay people (WalMart)
can have the same similarities (brands) as straight people (Kmart).
Get the point? Plus, in the end, regardless of which store we
belonged to in life, we are all cookies that came from the same
factory and are loved by our Creator.
Mike
Yehey Mike!!! Great Post!!! hahahahaha.. couldn't have argued better...
ReplyDeletehello??uhm my name is justine frm phill uhm,,,,i would like to ask is there a posibilty that the guy felt inlove with gayS??
ReplyDelete