The Ideal Man Is A Gay Man
When I visited a friend in her office last week, one of our conversations was about her daughter, a 12 year old girl, listing down the qualities of her ideal man. After her daughter read aloud the qualities, she told her that those were the qualities of a gay man.
Finding The Ideal Man
The qualities of an ideal man as demanded by women are becoming impractical. Many women lament on not being able to find Mr. Right and want to know where all the good men have gone? Is there an assurance that finding those qualities in a man would make you fall in love with him? What would you do if you don’t fall in love your ideal man?
Finding True Love
Finding true love takes good timing and just plain old-fashioned good luck. Some people found it by looking around and some by waiting. What if you fall in love with the man with qualities exactly the opposites on your list? Wouldn’t you wonder if he’s the right person for you?
The Right Man
Women who are looking for a Mr. Right should take another look around and look past the physical imperfections the guy standing next to them. Maybe, just maybe, many women have tripped over their Mr. Right. He may surprise you, because he may be packaged a bit differently than you imagined and yet it won't matter at all because he is your Mr. Right! The man who makes you feel important and valuable and respects who you are. Whose company you enjoy whether you are actively doing something or sitting quietly doing nothing at all. Who shares your values and goals in life and sees you as a partner rather then a possession. Who is open and honest with you and whom you can be the same.
For Christians
Finding life partner for Christians discusses the above questions and more. Many Christian singles often take a reckless approach to dating that often results to heartache. Singles are encouraged to recognize God's plan, look seriously at the qualities they need, and approach relationships in a way that honors God.
Finding The Ideal Man
The qualities of an ideal man as demanded by women are becoming impractical. Many women lament on not being able to find Mr. Right and want to know where all the good men have gone? Is there an assurance that finding those qualities in a man would make you fall in love with him? What would you do if you don’t fall in love your ideal man?
Finding True Love
Finding true love takes good timing and just plain old-fashioned good luck. Some people found it by looking around and some by waiting. What if you fall in love with the man with qualities exactly the opposites on your list? Wouldn’t you wonder if he’s the right person for you?
The Right Man
Women who are looking for a Mr. Right should take another look around and look past the physical imperfections the guy standing next to them. Maybe, just maybe, many women have tripped over their Mr. Right. He may surprise you, because he may be packaged a bit differently than you imagined and yet it won't matter at all because he is your Mr. Right! The man who makes you feel important and valuable and respects who you are. Whose company you enjoy whether you are actively doing something or sitting quietly doing nothing at all. Who shares your values and goals in life and sees you as a partner rather then a possession. Who is open and honest with you and whom you can be the same.
For Christians
Finding life partner for Christians discusses the above questions and more. Many Christian singles often take a reckless approach to dating that often results to heartache. Singles are encouraged to recognize God's plan, look seriously at the qualities they need, and approach relationships in a way that honors God.
What do you do when you find that man, The Right Man, but he's with someone else, through a sense of duty or feelings of guardianship? I've found that Right Man, someone who does all those things listed in your article and more. He's professed a strong, never ending, love for me, but he's with an alcoholic, someone who's had drinking problems of varying severity, from the first day they met. My love entered the relationship seeing the 'good' of his partner and feeling he could 'fix' the drinking but after seven years, the problem has just grown more and more sever. Now my love will not leave the one he's with because that person won't deal with their drinking and cannot care for themselves. I think my love is actually enabling his partner to be an alchoholic by providing an environment that will allow his partner to indulge their drinking to excess without repercussions (without worry of losing their place to live, the security of their home.) Guess that means my love's not the right one after all? But I still love him desperately because he has all those qualities I've been looking for. After a year I forced the issue of a choice and my love told me he'd never' put his partner out on the street. Never. So we split company. But we connected so deeply on every level,emotionaly, characteristically, physically, spiritually. We were a perfect match for each other. He has professed as much to me and he makes me feel so complete, so whole when we're together. I still love him and I am in complete misery. What do I do now?
ReplyDeleteI'm an ex-gay Christian man, and I can understand how a 12 year old girl would be more likely to write down all the qualities that gay men are known for, and that she felt a boyfriend should be. What are those qualities? Well, my guess is that she chose, among others, sensitivity, being a good listener and convesationalist, and someone who appreciates the fine arts. That is why most gay men do indeed make good friends with many women, since their personality profile would be similar. This is only a good start for a dating relationship, however.
ReplyDeleteBut God does not want the opposite sexes just to have some sense of commonality in a friendship, but rather, with that and more, that mystical atraction to what is oppposite, not only in physiobiology, but also in their gender based psychological makeup as well. This requires a man to psychosexually graduate from his asexual self and boyhood, i his affiliation with a girl companion, such as what most boys do in their early childhood experience with girls, to recognize not only anatomical characeristics that are different, but also ways of thinking and being, which are learned from both their father, or another same sex role model, and observing how their mother interacts with their father, or another or other same sex significant other(s). These ways are assertiveness, initiating, learning to be a leader, being a good provider and protector, etc. These gay men are known not to be, as a whole, which most late adolescent and young adult females come to realize.
And, as gay men indulge in their lifestyle of choice, especially if it becomes a more monolithic social experience, such as living in a gay community of a metropolitan city, and they don't associate very much with members of traditional families (which is very common), except in their employment, they actually begin to lose their admirable qualities, even becoming quite misogynistic (i.e., calling them "breeders").
For example, another man related to me that when he went to see Brokeback Mountain in a center city area, he noticed alot of male couples in the audience. When it came to the scene where the wife was peering out the upstairs back door and saw her husband making out with his buddy against the garage door, and she then began to cry, slamming the door shut and running off, he related that the majority of the audience was actually laughing at the tragic scene, rather than appropriately feeling sorry for the wife.
This is a very salient indicator and the epitomy of insensitivity to the opposite sex, is it not? Ask many divorced females of men who after marriage decided to live a gay lifestyle how they changed too. I'm sure you'd get a quorum of similar feedback to mine.
We same sex attracted Christian men, who chose to not feed into our sinful nature, childhood wounds and narcissism, but live in Christ and for Him, are really the best there is actually, when it comes to knowing how to be a friend to the opposite sex, as long as we are growing as a son before our Father God. I believe that the Apostle John was a good example of this. It is why I believe Jesus chose him to take care of His mother, while He hang dying on a cross.
In closing, I must say that you definitely have a point about the ability for gay men to be good friends with women, although with my aforementioned qualifiers. But, us same sex attracted Christian men do have many weaknesses also concerning being in relationship to the opposite sex, especially in marriage, some which I already mentioned. It just so happens that most "ever-straight" Christian men seem to be stronger in areas that us "ex-gay" Christian men aren't, and of course the converse is also true, as you have pointed out in your article. The good news is, whether coming from a "straight as an arrow", "bi", or "flamboyantly gay" history, if a Christian man alows himself to continue to grow in his place as a son of God, the Lord will address these weaknesses, and His strength will be evident where one's weakness used to prevail!
Blessings,
Tom Morey