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Another 30 or 40 Years

Here are some Christian themed funny stories to make your day.

He Brews
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee. The husband said, " You are in charge of the cooking around here so you should do it." The wife replied, "No you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." The husband replied, "Yeah, right!" So she showed him in the Bible where it says: "HEBREWS"

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Men's Brain Are Slightly Used
In the hospital, the relatives gathered in the waiting room where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, semi-risky, and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves." The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?" The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain."

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask: "Why is the male brain so much more?" The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and so to the entire group said, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because... they've actually been used!"

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Another 30 or 40 years
Esther has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near death experience, during which she sees God and asks if this is the end for her. God says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live.

As soon as she had recovered, Esther figured that since she's got another 30 or 40 years, she might as well stay in the hospital and have the face-lift, liposuction, breast augmentation and tummy tuck that she had always promised herself. So she did and she even changed the color of her hair!

But tragedy - some weeks later, as Esther is leaving the hospital, she is knocked over and killed by a car. When Esther arrives in front of God, she asks, "I thought you said I had another 30-40 years?"

God replies, "I didn't recognize you."

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Adam and Eve
One day, Eve was walking in the garden with the Lord. She said, "Lord, the garden is wonderful, and the animals and birds provide such joy, but I am still lonely sometimes."

"No problem!" the Lord replied. "I will make you a man for a companion. He will desire to please you and to be with you. But I have to warn you, he won't be perfect. He'll have a difficult time understanding you're feelings, will tend to think only of himself if allowed to, and will stay out late with his bowling buddies." "What's bowling?" Eve asked. "Oh... never mind. I was just getting ahead of myself, sorry."

"That's OK. I think I can handle this 'man'," Eve replied. "Great, I'll get right to it!" God said, and started grabbing some mud and shaping it. Suddenly, the Lord stopped and said to Eve, "Oh, there's one other thing about this man I'm making for you." "What's that?" asked Eve.

"You'll have to tell him he was here first."

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Adam and Eve Part 2
Adam and God were walking in the garden one day and Adam said to God, 'God, why did you make Eve so beautiful?' God answered, 'So you'd like her, Adam.' They walked on.... And Adam said, 'God, why did you give her such lovely lips?' And God said, 'So you'd like her, Adam. They walked on.... And Adam said, 'God why did you give her such a beautiful figure?' and God said, 'So you'd like her Adam.' And they walked on... Then Adam said, 'God, why did you give her such a little brain? And God said, 'So she'd like you, Adam!'

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