G2G

When I visited a gay friend one day, I couldn't help but be amused by a fascinating detail about his family—his uncle was also gay. What struck me even more was that his uncle was far more effeminate than he was, exuding a flamboyance that made their dynamic both entertaining and thought-provoking.

At the time, my friend was heartbroken over a recent breakup with another gay man. Coincidentally, his ex happened to be from the same province I was from, making the story feel even more personal. He lamented the end of their relationship, expressing frustration, sadness, and the inevitable “what went wrong?” questions that follow any breakup.

His uncle, however, was not as sympathetic as one might expect. Annoyed by the continuous lamenting, he offered some blunt advice: a gay man should never expect too much from a gay-to-gay relationship. According to him, the likelihood of heartbreak was high, and one should always be prepared for the moment when a partner decides to move on—whether for another man or, worse, another gay man. (To this day, I still don’t quite understand why “another gay man” was considered the worse option, but it was a strong sentiment for his uncle.)

What intrigued me further was his uncle’s approach to relationships. He had never been romantically involved with another gay man. Instead, all his relationships had been with straight men. He explained that if a man leaves him for a woman, the pain is easier to accept. After all, he reasoned, a straight man returning to his “natural” inclination felt more understandable than being replaced by another man—particularly another gay man. This perspective was something I had never considered before, and it made me reflect on how people cope with heartbreak in different ways.

This conversation led me to think about the complexities of man-to-man relationships. Romantic relationships between two men might be among the most fragile, and perhaps this has something to do with the nature of men themselves. Studies suggest that men, in general, are more visually driven, and easily stimulated by what they see. This could make exclusivity and long-term commitment more challenging in relationships involving men, whether gay or straight.

In contrast, I believe that woman-to-woman relationships tend to be stronger. Most, if not all, of the lesbian relationships I have observed, have lasted much longer than those between two men. This is not to say that lesbian relationships are without challenges, but there seems to be a different level of emotional depth and stability that keeps them going.

Ultimately, relationships that involve men—whether man-to-man or man-to-woman—need to be built on more than just physical attraction. If attraction is the only foundation, the relationship may not stand the test of time. Real connection, emotional intimacy, shared values, and mutual respect must take priority. Perhaps that is the key to keeping any man in your life—not by relying solely on chemistry but by fostering something deeper and more meaningful.

What do you think? Have you noticed similar patterns in relationships around you?