Gay Married Man
I have a friend who openly talks about his lifestyle and relationships with boys, however shallow they are.He is gay. He is married.
Life is a choice. We live according to however we want our life to be. We all have different needs to fulfill. To belong to someone, to a family and to have families of our own are just among the many hungers we strive to feed.
Straight or not, we feel the same way. Straight or not, we have reasons for getting married. Straight or not, faithfulness is one of the foundations of relationships especially in marriage. Sexual urge should not be an excuse to break that foundation.
What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her is probably his perception.
I have no issues about being gay and married. Being married is not anymore a gender issue.
When a person gets married, he gave up his right to have intimate relationships with anybody, man or woman.
Temptation may surely come. We may not be able to consistently resist pull, but indulgence should not be a lifestyle.
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well maybe if he dont commit adultery with another guy,theres nothing wrong with it.he maybe just want to have a regular family and children,but me,i guess I'll just look for my loving partner and get build family of our own hehehe
ReplyDeleteYes, you are right Mac, that is what i am pointing out. When a man, gay or not, is married, he should be faithful to his wife. I know many gay married men who were unfaithful.
ReplyDeletewe have no right to judge anybody.as long as these gay married men are responsible, i think it's ok.
ReplyDeleteThank you for dropping by flamindevil, yes we don't have the right. I am not judging anybody... i was just stressing a point. Being responsible does no only mean financial provision. What i wrote was about gay married men cheating their wives... i don't think cheating is being responsible.
ReplyDeleteI prefer to mixed with married men , gay or straight or confused or bisexual. They tend to be more mature and decisive.
ReplyDeleteAnyone knows married men who don't mind gay guy can call me - 94559590,Lawrence
If a gay married man is out to his wife, and if she is comfortable with it, she will let him run around on his own, as long as it's just sex for sport and there's no serious emotional relationship with another man.
ReplyDelete@Lawrence, i know some people that are attracted to gay married men too. Good luck to your search.. :)
ReplyDelete@Anonymous, yup there are some gay married men who are out to their wives, but i am not sure about their wives allowing their gay husbands to play around even without emotions involved...
In the first place - if you are gay and you choose to marry a woman - that's already being irresponsible...and selfish. It's like taking on a job as a doctor and get paid as such, when you don't have any medical knowledge.
ReplyDeleteWell,I partly agree with CYH,at the same time the gay man should be able to satisfy his wife sexually too,as many gays cannot perform with women.
ReplyDeleteOne more thing Elyong,I have a gay married friend who is out to his wife and to my surprise his wife told me,that she wished that her husband had a sexual relationship with me instead of just being friends,and I asked her why,and she said,she would rather be comfortable knowing that her husband is sleeping with decent guys instead of picking them up from internet or streets.
@CYH, yes a gay man marrying a woman is kinda selfish if he cannot perform his role as a husban as it should be. But if the gay man is out to his wife before they got married and the woman knows the limitation of her husband, i think its ok.
ReplyDelete@Ronnie, you made me smile when you told me that your friend's wife wished that her husband would have sexual relationship with you than any other out there. Wouldn't be awkward? hahaha!!
Her statement showed that she knew her husband was playing around.
I see a misnomer. A man who can satisfy a woman sexually is anything but gay, even if he claims to be one. It's more likely for a bisexual man to get married and continue fooling around with other men, than for a gay man to do the same.
ReplyDeleteJust like those who claimed religion had helped them 'turn straight', they were probably bisexual to begin with.
@CYH, that was what i am driving at with my post. Being married and being faithful is not anymore a gender issue...
ReplyDeleteAlso, I am a person who believes in miracles. I am happy for those who were not comfortable with their sexuality and claimed to have experienced total change, but i have yet to meet such person. I have friends who confessed they were changed, but they were all confessions of faith. But then again, faith is the substance of things hope for...
I am turning 42 this year and have never slept with the opposite sex...ever. All these years, I have slept with different men and even went into a relationship with a few of them.
ReplyDeleteNow here's the hard part. I want to change my lifestyle. There are two choices: one is to settle down into a loving relationship with just one man but that proves to be elusive. The other is to make a 180-degree turn and find a woman, get married, and build a family. But the problem is, how will I ever explain to her that all these years I have not slept with any woman? I know I will eventually have to reveal to her that I have lead a very gay lifestyle in the past. But will there be someone out there who will accept me? And, I know there's no guarantee and that a lot of folks would say that we both will have to make the relationship work. Yet, if a relationship between two men almost always seem to fail, I am also aware that there are man-woman relationships that also failed. In fact, I know of a lot of straight relationships where they have chosen to just stay with their wife or husband just because they have already started a family or because getting into an annulment is so expensive and time-consuming.
I don't want to be part of that statistic. I like my relationship to be always full of love. I know I am capable of being loyal and faithful. I know I am capable of loving only one person as I have done so in the past. It was always just one at a time. Carrying on an affair with another person while I am already with someone else is not my idea of a relationship at all.
I have come to a point in my life when I yearn for something constant and permanent. Whether it be with just one man or just one woman, for as long as it's the one I will be with for the rest of my life.
Is that possible?
@anonymous
ReplyDeleteI think lifestyle can be changed, but not sexuality. If you can (not you think you can) satisfy a woman both emotionally and sexually, then by all means find a good woman and start a family. Should you be honest with her about your past? If you are happy with a relationship that is held together by a lie, then what can I say?
I think many times people forget a fruitful relationship is one that is mutually satisfying. You said you wanted to change your lifestyle, you wanted to have a loving relationship that lasts. Sure, those wants are valid. But have you considered what the woman whom you are marrying wants? Can you fulfill those wants? Would you be happy if she marries you for your money? Would you be happy she marries you because she isn't happy with her 'lifestyle' and hopes that marriage will bring a change?
A wife is not like a pet that you bring home to dote on. A wife is another human being just like yourself.
Back in the province years ago, I also personally know a gay married man who was unfaithful to his wife. And come to think, his wife knew what he's doing all along...
ReplyDeleteI have nothing against gay men pero sana when they plunged into a man-woman relationship dapat ready silang i-give-up yung right to act and live as gay kasi paano kapag nagka-anak sila??? kawawa naman ang mga bata... :(
ReplyDeletewell its a choice of the person if wants to be who he is, whats important is that he is happy with who he is d ba guys, anyway am single and still hoping to have a relationship gay married man or not basta discrit
ReplyDeletea choice is there mas ok pa pksln ang bading na good provider at bumubuhay ng sariling pamilya kesa lalaking nananakit at adik pero kung bading na nga at adik pa i guess hwag na lang mag-asawa
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, you should tell her you are a 40 plus year old virgin.
ReplyDeletesweetest thing i've heard from a guy was, "my love for you will always be different from my love to my wife"
ReplyDeletewe met before he got married, after more than 3 years of a married life, we still see each other... his family knows me, what they do not know is our relationship outside their home...
If only Jesus rules in each of our our lives, then this issue is resolved.
ReplyDeletemarriage is a CHOICE but being a gay is a DESTINY.
ReplyDeleteIsip ko lang…ilang percent kaya ng gays/bi’s ang talagang masaya sa buhay nila? :(
ReplyDelete