Being Single Is No Better

Spontaneity, freedom, and flexibility—these are some of the best things about being single. At least, that’s what they say. “They” being the married folks and the singles who refuse to admit that being single can be tough, too. But as a single person, writing about the downsides of being single won’t exactly brighten my day, will it?

Still, the question remains: Why should I get married?

I suppose this is a different question than “Why are you still single?” or “Why aren’t you married?”—or am I just fooling myself? Honestly, I’m tired of answering those questions with the same shallow responses. Maybe it’s time for a new one, hoping it leads to a better answer.

1. No Man Is an Island

Huh. I was hoping for a deep, philosophical answer, not a cliché. But there’s truth to it.

My siblings (who are also single) and my nieces (daughters of my only married brother) live with me, yet I still feel alone. Being surrounded by people doesn’t always mean you’re not lonely. I can talk to my brothers as their sibling and friend. I can talk to my nieces as their uncle and friend. But I don’t have someone I can talk to simply as me.

Now I understand why they call a spouse the “better half.” It’s because that person is part of you. I just don’t know why it’s called better.

Originally, in the Garden of Eden, there was only one person. Then God divided them into two. The man has to search for his missing part. The woman has to find where she came from. It’s the man’s job to seek her, and the woman’s job to wait. For the man, finding her is like searching for a needle in a haystack. For the woman, waiting is just as difficult.

2. It’s Not Easy Being the Odd One Out

When I was younger, my friends and I were on the same path. But as the years went by, they changed, and so did I. The only difference? They fit in. I became the odd one.

At church, our pastor often divides us into small prayer groups so we can share our experiences and testimonies before praying together. The groups are usually: Single men, Married men, Single women, and Married women.

There’s nothing wrong with these groups—except that the single men are usually half my age. My age group belongs with the married men, but I’m not married.

And it’s not just at church. During coffee breaks and casual discussions, my married friends talk about their families. If they’re not talking about family life, their families still factor into the conversation. They talk about real experiences. I can only talk about theories.

3. To Serve and Protect

When we’re young, girls play with dolls, and boys play with toy soldiers—or the other way around. Either way, we are naturally wired to nurture and protect.

That’s why it’s not accurate to say that you "give yourself away" when you love someone. Loving someone and expressing that love in whatever way you can isn’t about losing something—it’s about filling an emptiness within you. Whether that love is reciprocated or not, it doesn’t change the fact that love itself fulfills.

Wow. Did I just say that?

But really, when you love someone, that need is filled. And if that love is returned, it overflows. And when love overflows, the feeling is indescribable.

4. Conserving Energy

Cooking for one person is tough—not to mention expensive. It’s not very eco-friendly, either. Imagine if every single person in the world cooked just for themselves. It makes me wonder: is there a correlation between energy consumption and the number of single people?

Final Thoughts

Being single isn’t bad, but it’s not necessarily better than being married. And being married isn’t necessarily better than being single, either—though I can’t say for sure since I haven’t been there. Just one of my theories, based on what I’ve heard.

Singles dream of getting married. Married people, at some point, miss being single. We always think the grass is greener on the other side.

But whether you’re single or married, one thing is certain: make the most of where you are now. Live fully. Love deeply. And embrace the season you’re in.