An Awkward Interview

One of the most exhausting jobs I ever had was being a Field Interviewer. Picture this: wandering into an unfamiliar place, armed with nothing but a clipboard and an awkward smile, hoping to find a complete stranger willing to answer deeply personal questions. The uncertainty alone was enough to make my nerves do somersaults. But despite the stress and the occasional existential crisis, working as a Field Interviewer wasn’t all bad. In fact, it had its fair share of humor, unexpected surprises, and moments that left me questioning everything I thought I knew about human nature.

One of the most unforgettable contracts I worked on involved asking people questions I would never dare to ask even my closest friend. You know, the kind of questions that would make a priest blush and a teenager pretend they didn't hear you.

Some of the more, let’s say, intimate questions posed to both male and female respondents included:

When was the first time you had a wet dream?

Have you ever mast**bated?

When was the first time you mast**bated?

How often do you mast**bate?

Have you had sexual int**course?

When was the first time you had s**ual int**course?

Was it with a male or female?

Where did you do it the first time?

Oh, but that wasn’t all! There were plenty of other lighthearted inquiries about boyfriends, girlfriends, same-gender relationships, kissing, petting, learning about s*x, s*x for pay, and, of course, engaging in s*x just for fun. Nothing quite like asking a complete stranger about their most personal experiences while trying to maintain professional eye contact.

To make things even more interesting, this survey was conducted in the province, where people were generally more reserved about these topics. Asking these questions to male respondents was awkward, sure—but trying to get answers from female respondents? That was a whole new level of uncomfortable. The hesitation, the nervous laughter, the long, awkward silences... it was a test of patience and endurance, both for me and my subjects.

And as if that weren’t tricky enough, we interviewers were bound by strict policies that prohibited us from sharing our respondents’ answers with anyone. But let’s be real—when you cram a group of exhausted interviewers into a shared lodging house, especially around mealtime, keeping those secrets was about as easy as avoiding spoilers for a hit TV series. We weren’t gossiping, per se… we were decompressing. Besides, none of us knew the respondents personally, so in our minds, it was just an anonymous collection of eyebrow-raising confessions.

Despite the occasional awkward moments and the mental gymnastics required to ask these deeply personal questions with a straight face, I have to admit—it was one of the most eye-opening experiences of my life. The job may have been tiring, and at times utterly embarrassing, but it also provided a front-row seat to the fascinating world of human behavior. And if nothing else, it gave me stories that I’ll be telling (in a censored version, of course) for years to come.